THE REAL PICK UP LINES 101!
by Lady Kali' Barton
Summary: DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE! R&R PEOPLE! Laugh you're asres off funny...I hope...PEACE!


Karma: *reading a really good fic *  
  
Kismet: - Karma! We're on damn it! * shuts laptop off*  
  
Karma: * AUTHORESS GLARE* Why the hell did you do that!?  
  
Kismet: * slaps forehead* Oh Apollo..we're on bakayaro!  
  
Karma: ^_^ Kawairashii!  
  
Wufei: *shakes head * Kayowai..  
  
Karma: * GLARES* Be wery wery cawful Chang.  
  
Wufei: * backs away* Baka na onna..  
  
Karma: * still glaring* Any way. I'm going to TRY to be funny.. Duo: -__-; Emphasis on the 'TRY' part...  
  
Kismet: * glomps him* DUO -CHAN!  
  
Duo: * smile* Hiya.  
  
Kis: * happy * Du-chan!  
  
Karma: _ When will this end?  
  
Heero: -_-; Once you say the disclaimer it's over.  
  
Karma: *-* Really?  
  
Heero: * rolls eyes* Yes really.  
  
Karma: I OWN NUTTHIN'!  
  
Hey it's not over!  
  
Oh never mind..  
  
Enjoy MINNA-SAMA! 'thought' "speech" (Author&Muse Notes)  
  
*~Pick Up Lines 101~*  
  
Karma's in her loft busy reading a book (Kis:_ She's ALWAYS doing that.. Karma: Shut up..). On the cover says 'How To Tell What Kind Of Man He Is By His Pick-Up Lines' by Oprah Jinnfery. Now Karma, as curious as any fic girl is, wonders what kind of men the G-Wing fellers are....  
  
'Hmm I wonder what kind of men the G-boys are....' She gets up. "I'll just figure it out!" Karma grabs her jacket and the book and heads for the mansion.  
  
~*~*~~*~*~~*~~~**~~~**~~*~  
  
Karma walks in Quatre's mansion to find it empty.or that's how it looked. "Any-body home?"  
  
"Yeah what's it to ya?" came Duo's voice echoing from the kitchen.  
  
She walked into the food palace. "Hey baka-chan! Whatz up doc?"  
  
He turned from the huge frig. "Nothing but the sky as always."  
  
"None of you wise cracks braid boy-o... where's Trowa?"  
  
Duo laughs at her. "Don't you mean Tro-koishii?"  
  
Karma sticks her tongue out at him. "Any way I wanna know some-thing.what kind of pick up lines do you use?" Duo spits out some of the Vanilla coke (Karma: Reward your curiosity ^_^) he was gulping allover Karma.  
  
He wiped his mouth. "Sorry but did you just say what a think you said?"  
  
Karma grimaced. "One, thanks but I already had a shower today and two, yes I did baka na otoko no ko."  
  
Duo laughed and put a hand behind his head. "Sorry 'bout that."  
  
"Just hand me a towel will ya?"  
  
~~~**~~*~~~**~~*~~~*~~*~~~  
  
"Okay whatz this thing you want me to do again?" Duo sighed flopping on his bed.  
  
Karma rolled her eyes. "Alright tell me your best line and I'll see what the book says about you."  
  
He nodded his head. "Here's one. 'Girl you must be tired 'cause you been running through my mind ALL DAY....' ''  
  
Karma laughed then skimmed through the book. "Aha!" she exclaimed when she found something.  
  
"Aha what?" came a voice out-side the door. It was Wufei. "What are you two bakas in here doing?"  
  
Karma looked at Duo who looked back at her. Then they both smiled evilly. Karma hastily put on an innocent look. "We're just trying to find out what kind of man Duo is by his pick-up lines...wanna join? I'm sure you must have something other than 'onna' right?"  
  
Wufei glared at the both of them. "Hmph. I rather not."  
  
Duo winked at Karma, then put on the same innocent face. "Oh come on Wu- man! It's a blast. In fact....Karma why don't you finish up with me, then you can do Wufie. If he has some practice....which I doubt."  
  
Wufei was about to object again when Trowa came in.  
  
"Hello wonderful people. What's with him?" Trowa pointed to the now fuming Wufei.  
  
Karma laughed. "He's upset because we're making him tell us pick up lines. And since you're here," Karma smiled saucily. "You can tell us some too."  
  
"My pleasure." He winked at her.  
  
Duo and Wufei rolled their eyes. Karma glared at them, then read what the book said about Duo.  
  
" Okay...it says that if you're man uses a line evolved with you doing a action and uses a smooth voice he's either a) a player, b) fighter never a lover or c) the love 'em and leave 'em type." Karma looked at Duo hard.  
  
"You gotta be....a)!"  
  
Duo raised his eyebrows. " A PLAYER! I'm more of a love 'em leave 'em type!"  
  
"Please whatever.you know that you can have JUST ONE girl. You cheat on those poor onnas with their friends, and even their sisters!" Trowa exclaimed.  
  
"Oh well," Duo shrugged. "What can I say? I love girls, girls, girls, girls. Girls I do adore."  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes then glared at Karma. "And you call ME the sexist pig.."  
  
Karma was torn between laughter and rage. "Lets just move on...how about you Trowa?"  
  
Wufei was about to say something but opted against it. 'I'm not complaining...I hope she forgets about me altogether.'  
  
"And Chang don't even get comfortable...you're definitely next."  
  
'Damn it.'  
  
"Now Mr. Barton.." Karma said with a naughty look on her face. "Just what is that voodoo you do do on those ladies?"  
  
Trowa laughed then moving over to where she was sitting, took her hand and kissed it. And in a sexy Italian voice said: "I am a International Gundam Plot. Does this excite you?"  
  
Karma, Duo and even Wufei snickered at this.  
  
"Uh, I won't comment on that.." Karma said wiping tears from her eyes. She flipped through the book again. "Okay it says that if a man tries to lure you with a fancy accent and promises he is probably either a) desperate and listens to self-help tapes, b) the strong, silent type, or c) really is a international gundam plot. I say a) again!!!!!"  
  
Trowa blinked at her. "Hey! I don't have trouble with woman!"  
  
Duo was on the floor cracking up. "Haha..listens to self-help tapes?!?! Hahaaa!"  
  
Wufei stifled a chuckle. "Barton I think you're more b) than any-thing."  
  
"Hey I'm not silent.but I am strong."  
  
Karma sniffed. "Yeah as strong as a sloth that has had my famous Mexican Beans!"  
  
The guys groan at that.  
  
"Why did you bring up the beans..?" Duo said, holding his stomach. "That was the nastiest day ever. Talk about smelling like garbage all day!"  
  
Trowa shuttered. "Uh.man did Heero stink up the bathroom.. Perfect Solider my ass..more like Perfect Skunk to me."  
  
Wufei crack up at the comment. Karma glared at them then gave a look to Wufei.  
  
"I believe it's you're turn Mister Chang!"  
  
"Damnit! This is such an injustice..." He breathed in and closed his eyes.  
  
Duo stared in amazement. "I can't believe he's going to do it!"  
  
"Shut up baka! I'm trying to think."  
  
After an intense moment of silence, Wufei opened his eyes. "Girl you must be an angel in disguised, because I'm in heaven when I'm with you."  
  
Trowa, Karma, and Duo sat there in utter shock.  
  
Duo mouth hung open as if he was going to say some thing. But all that came through was: "Oh My Gods...."  
  
Trowa's eyes seemed permanently stuck open.  
  
Karma looked at Wufei as if he was a piece of fried chicken. And boy was she hungry.  
  
Wufei broke the silence. "Well tell me what I am, baka onna!" He snapped, breaking the awe and bring the rest back to Earth (Kis: Well at least ONE of them.*_*).  
  
"Oh yeah...right.." Karma said, flipping through the book. When she found something similar she read it. "Okay if you're man compares you to some un- Earthly body, then he probably is a) a dick who will turn against you.b) a lame man who is stuck up on one stupid topic..or c) a nice one who has some issues."  
  
All three of the judges looked at each other. Then with evil grins replied: "LETTER.... A!"  
  
"WHAT!" Wufei looked livid. "I SHOULD KILL EACH AND EVERY- ONE OF YOU!!!" Just as he lunges for Duo, a peeved (A/N: this word is so fruity I just had to included it some where.^_^) looking Quatre busted in.  
  
"What the hell is going on in here? Can I get some quiet FOR ONCE!!!"  
  
Karma and the rest immediately stop. They were too afraid Quatre might go Zero. Not a very pretty thing if you count the last eight times. Every-one ends up in the hospital *_*.  
  
Karma laughs nervously. "Sorry Q-man. Promise it won't happen again. Hehe...."  
  
Quatre glares. "It better not.."  
  
He exited the scene.  
  
Every-one left sighed in relief.  
  
Wufei glared at them again. "At least I didn't say 'onna'..or 'weak'...."  
  
Karma could he the hurt in his voice. Though Trowa, and Duo couldn't  
  
she could. "Well yeah but...." Before she could finish Duo's stomach growled.  
  
Duo laughed. "That's my que to leave!"  
  
Trowa shook his head. "You just ate an hour ago. How the hell could you be hungry now?"  
  
"He's a cow. He has like three stomachs in there." Karma replied, poking Duo in the stomach. "I wonder how you stay so thin.."  
  
Duo snicker. "If I told you, I would have to kill you."  
  
"Yeah right!"  
  
"I'm hungry too." Trowa headed over to the door with Duo. "It was fun."  
  
"Catch ya on the flip side!" They exited.  
  
A moment of tense silence sat like a dense cloud.(Kis: *_* No comment..)  
  
"Well since that's over..." Wufei got up and headed for the door.  
  
Karma felt a stabbing guilt. She moved over to him and touched his  
  
shoulder. He turned around the mask came a loose for a moment, revealing the hurt.  
  
'I didn't know he felt so bad..maybe I shouldn't have joined the other guys..' she thought remorsefully.  
  
"What do you want onna?" His voice was deep but cracked ever so slightly.  
  
Karma went with her gut instincts. She moved closer and enveloped his mouth with hers. At first he hesitated, shocked by the feeling. Yet in a few minutes he eased into it, wrapping his arms around her. The kissed turn passionate, Karma pressing into him. But as all humans must, they broke apart to breath.  
  
"What.was.that.for?" Wufei panted.  
  
She smiled, placing her arms around his neck. "That..was me saying I'm sorry....but this," she whispered in his ear, "is for not being a dick about it." And pulled his face back to hers.  
  
**********[THE END.I HOPE *_*]****************  
  
Karma: [smiling smugly] I luv me...  
  
Wufei: [big, BIG grin] I luv you too...  
  
Duo: [mortified] I...can't...believe...you two..did..that..in...MY...room...  
  
Trowa: [raises eyebrow] Did I just heard Wufei..'I luv you too' to Karma.Okay what happen in there after me and Duo left?  
  
Duo: [screams] THEY DEFILED MY BED! MY BED!!  
  
Trowa: //_! Too much info..  
  
Wufei: [grabs Karma] Let's go someplace.just you and me. How about, my beautiful onna?"  
  
Karma: [exits giggling] I like it when you call me onna, Mister Chang!  
  
Duo&Trowa: [weirded out] MY GOD WHAT JUST HAPPEN HERE!!!!??  
  
Trowa: [holding his stomach] That was the grosses thing I've ever heard...  
  
Duo: [gets on knees and begs the fans] Take the pain away...please..somebody just shoot me...  
  
Kismet: [deathglares authoress] I'll kill her for not putting me in this! [goes off to find Karma]  
  
Minion 1:REVIEW MINNA OR ELSE [holds up a pot of authoress' Mexican Beans]! AND CHECK OUT SOME OF HER OTHER FICS! KEEP THE INSANITY ALIVE! PEACE!!!!!!! 


End file.
